What is a GWD Friend Circle?

The Girls With Dreams Friend Circle has arrived!

We are so excited to launch this new idea. The idea of a Friend Circle has been around for a long time, but we’re excited to let you know what it means to us! The concept is similar to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but so much more!

Basically, a GWD Friend Circle is a group of 4 to 8 girls who have come together to support each other. You might all live in the same town, but you don’t have to. You can connect by phone, email or Web cam. As a group, you agree to meet once a month. You give each person time to talk and share what’s new with her, and then share ideas about how the group might help. You also plan fun things to do together. Part of your plan might be to reach out to others in the community.

Don’t worry, though! We’re going to take you through this step-by-step process and help you create your own GWD Friends Circle! Once your circle is up and running, we’d love to hear from you! We’re going to be posting videos, tips, and ideas from girls just like you. We want you all to share what types of things you’re learning and doing together in your circles.

Why is this so important?

If you’ve ever felt alone…

If you’ve ever felt you don’t measure up…

If you’ve ever believed you couldn’t do something….

We need each other to succeed! Our Friend Circles can get us through tough times, be a place for us to laugh, cry, support each other, and have a good time! Our Friend Circles can help us all live our BIG DREAMS!

The Key to Everything is Self-Esteem.

Self-esteem, self confidence, self respect…

Girls With Dreams talked about all of these ideas this weekend at a Girl Talk event. As I prepared and shared tips on boosting self-esteem, it was a reminder and affirmation to me of how critical this issue is.

Without positive self-esteem, it’s hard to get very far. It’s one of the most important things we need to pay attention to. When we don’t have good self-esteem, it sets us up for more problems and challenges. I’m not trying to sound depressing here, but if we’re all trying to “Dream Big” and live out our best lives, we’re not going to be able to get very far if we haven’t started working on our self-esteem.

If you have low self-esteem, you might put yourself down a lot, feel you aren’t pretty or believe no one likes you. You might lack confidence in your abilities to do well in school or play on sports teams. Even worse, you might seek approval outside of yourself. Sometimes, it’s easier to get wrapped up in dangerous or unhealthy relationships. Other girls have looked to drugs or alcohol for comfort and security.

If you have high self-esteem, you can stand up to your friends when you have a different opinion, you compliment others, you see your own beauty, you stand up tall, you believe in yourself, and you have confidence in your success as well as the successes of others.

Visit our site regularly for more tips and ideas on how to improve your self-esteem in all areas! Let’s get started with each other. Girls are WAY TOO MEAN to each other. This has to stop! There is enough good to go around. When one girl succeeds, we all succeed. Whether she’s in the classroom, on the soccer field, or on the dance floor. We need to be better about building each other up and cheering each other on, and stop trying to tear each other down. Imagine how far girls could go in this world if all of us made a conscious effort to stop being so mean! If we all work to help each other get farther, we all get farther!

I think we need to start a movement around this idea of building each other up, getting rid of the Mean Girl Mentality that has lingered too long. What should we call it? E-mail your ideas to info@girlswithdreams.com

In my next post you can take a quiz to see how well you’re doing!

Silver-Stock Contributes to Inaugural Issue of GLOW Magazine

Carrie Silver-Stock is excited to be one of the contributing writers in the new GLOW Project Magazine, the magazine behind the movement. Sandra Yancey, Creator and Producer of the GLOW Project started a movement including the GLOW Project movie, magazine and forthcoming book. The magazine is published bimonthly and the inaugural issue is available now.

Super Fun Birthday Party Ideas

My birthday is in a week. Is it just me or is 17 just not as sweet as 16? You get your license at 16 and you’re offically an adult at 18. What do I do in between?

Here are some fun ideas to help celebrate your 17th!

1. Plan a shopping trip with your girlfriends to a town a few hours away. Chicago is a great option.
2. Go to an amusement park or make a slip-n-slide in your backyard.
3. Have a potluck dinner party at your house for you and your friends.
4. Try something spontaneous with a few close friends, such as a hot air balloon ride or a carraige ride.
5. Rent out a hall and have a joint birthday party with a friend that has a birthday close to yours.
6. Walk along Main Street in your town, and meet new people.
7. Learn how to make you favorite food, and have your friends join in.
8. Go on a camping trip and look for your birthday constellation in the sky.
9. Go cosmic bowling, roller skating, or ice skating.
10. Stay in a local hotel for a night, splurge on the spa, and swim in their free pool.

Whatever you choose to do, make your birthday enjoyable!

Problems with Friends in Cyberworld

Hey Everyone!

It always seems like I disappear for months, then find my way back! When I started college, I told myself I would have more time to blog and I’d be more committed to this project, but I just keep getting busier! I can’t help it! I have so much going on at school it’s absolutely insane! I guess that’s a good thing though, right?

Being involved is so incredibly important. I’ve met so many people, and I’m learning so much about planning and business, and best of all… myself. I had one experience in particular that helped me learn and fully understand the motive for qualities such as trust and honesty. It’s funny because it was an entire semester experience that was completely HORRIBLE. Looking back, I can almost say with my whole heart that I’m happy it happened because it taught me so much.

At the beginning of the year, as a new friend and I were in that bonding stage, the two of us and another girl became friends and always ate together and ran errands with each other. Everything was great, but I just had this terrible feeling that something wasn’t quite right. Not thinking much of it, I vocalized how I felt to one of them and everything spun completely out of control.

Things took a turn for the worst and our friendship turned upside down when they thought I was starting to instigate something and purposefully start a fight!

The next thing I know, they are avoiding me and claiming that I was sending them nasty text messages. (I later found out these messages were coming from a free text messaging Web site where my cell phone number was being used to make it LOOK LIKE I sent the messages). I denied sending them, but it just got worse. The things I said were turned around and taken out of context. Everything appeared to be all my fault.

To get everything straightened out, I suggested that the three of us sit down and talk with a mediator to get the story straight. The other girls hesitated, but I insisted it be done. After the talk, things dissipated for about a week. The situation got worse. The messages that appeared to be coming from me were meaner and just plain disgusting. I even changed my phone number to prove that the messages were not coming from me. Well, whoever was behind all the messages kept going because they no longer came from my old number, but from a Web site once again. I even received one somewhere along the way. My friend told me that she never thought it was me and didn’t think I was the type of person who would do anything like that.

That must not have been the way she truly felt. She was actually so convinced it was me that she and her boyfriend searched my laptop to see if I was ever on that site. They went to the site and sent her a threatening message from my computer. They also searched my e-mail and social networking profile. They took photos of what they had done to show her mother. Her mother called me and told me they went on my computer, took photos, and was going to call the police since I “threatened her daughters life.”

So much happened between that night and the end of this mess. I eventually filed reports and talked with department heads to get the problem solved. I don’t know what will end up happening to these people. I experienced severe harassment and invasion of privacy which are violations of the school code of conduct.

Here are the points I hope you can take away from my experience:

1. Honesty will always come out on top. There was one thing that was consistent throughout this horrible experience: I told the truth every single time. No matter what situation you’re in, being truthful to yourself, your peers, and your superiors will bring you a sense of calm. Knowing that I didn’t need to defend myself calmed all the fears I had. The truth doesn’t need defending. Be honest with yourself, with your friends, and everyone you encounter. Listen to what your heart tells you. Trust me, it’s hard to ignore. The sooner you listen to it, the sooner you can move on and live! Do the right thing! I know you can!

2. Be careful when you text, spend time on the Internet, and use your cell phone. Keep track of who you give your phone number to and always look at the bill to make sure it matches up with your activity. Don’t be afraid to ask your parents to have a look at it, either. It helped me uncover a few things along the way. I cannot emphasize enough how careful we all need to be with these forms of communication. Everything you do is tracked by IP addresses, cookies, and Internet history. Your cell phone has an IP address too! Not all of those can be deleted. Luckily, those things came in handy for me.

3. Apply what you learn. I learned through all of this that whatever I say will come back to me. Always. Most likely, it will be in some other form of my original words. If there’s something you don’t want other people to know, don’t say it. If you don’t care for someone, keep it to yourself. You can eliminate a lot of gossip that way. Now, I’m not saying you need to keep your mouth shut all the time, but going around spreading things that you wouldn’t want spread about yourself isn’t right. I’m sure you beautiful women already knew that.

Making a come back from this wasn’t easy, let me tell you, but I knew I had to be strong. I had a ton of people around me who love and care about me, and supported me throughout this entire process. At the end of the day, this whole thing made me a better person! I know that I can handle something like this again if it ever happens again (goodness, I hope not!). Everything you experience in life just prepares you for your next challenge.

Good luck, and keep trusting your intuition!

Interview with Fox 2 News on Issues Teen Girls Face

Carrie Silver-Stock appeared on Fox 2 St. Louis to talk about teen girls and a FREE upcoming event Saturday January 24, 2009, from 1-4 PM for moms and daughters. 

Too Much Dating Violence

A recent article in the New York Times, A Rise in Efforts to Spot Abuse in Youth Dating, really grabbed my attention. It confirmed so much of what I’m seeing and hearing from young people. Violence in dating relationships happens way too much! Statistics confirm that at least 1 in 10 girls has been in a violent relationship. However, with cell phones and email, many experts agree that harassment through these channels has increased.

Even though more school districts, parents, and individuals are improving programs and talking about dating violence, we need to do more!

When I recently asked girls for stories for my new book, Secrets Girls Keep, too many confirmed my deepest fears. Too many stories were about how girls had been mistreated in their relationships. Many had tragic results, but not as tragic as Heather Norris who actually lost her life to her boyfriend. Many of the girls I talked to are healing and have learned how to turn a bad situation into something they can learn and grow from.

If you or a friend is in a violent relationship, you are not alone! Please reach out for help at the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.

We at Girls With Dreams are committed to helping girls learn how to be more courageous and confident and to have healthy self esteem. Watch for our blog post series on knowing the signs of dating violence and more ideas on what you can do about it!

7 Fat Loss Myths

So many girls get caught up with losing weight, jeopardizing their health and wellness. One of my favorite fitness trainers in St. Louis, Michael Farrington, recently shared his 7 Fat Loss Myths. Quiz yourself to see how much you know about healthy eating and losing weight!

Myth #1: Eating Late at Night Makes You Fat

The Facts: Your body doesn’t have an internal timer that causes late night eats to be stored directly as fat. Weight gain happens when you eat too much and exercise too little. You could eat too much in the morning, the afternoon, or late at night and it would all result in weight gain.

Solution: Consider how many calories you eat and burn each day, rather than the time of day you eat.

Myth #2: Snacking Promotes Weight Gain

The Facts: Eating snacks throughout the day is actually a great way to keep your metabolism up and to avoid overeating at meals. However, be prepared to pack on pounds if you snack on junk food.

Solution: When it comes to snacking it’s all about what you snack on.

Myth #3: You Can Lose Fat Without Exercise

The Facts: Exercise and healthy eating go hand-in-hand when it comes to permanent fat loss. Your body needs exercise just as it needs to be fed a diet filled with fresh produce, whole grains and lean protein.

Solution: Accept exercise as a part of your daily lifestyle.

Myth #4: Fat Free Means ‘All-You-Can-Eat’

The Facts: It’s time to erase everything the ’90s promoted about fat-free dieting. Fat-free foods are not the equivalent of flavored air. They contain plenty of calories and often lots of sugar.

Solution: Be mindful of calories when eating fat-free foods.

Myth #5: Eat as Little as Possible for Maximum Fat Loss

The Facts: Eating too little causes your metabolism to shut down and puts your body into starvation mode. You’ll be prone to store fat rather than burn it.

Solution: When it comes to fat loss, think burn rather than starve.

Myth #6: Diet Pills Work for Fat Loss

The Facts: The only thing that diet pills are capable of burning is the extra cash in your wallet. Billions of diet pills are sold every year – all to no avail.

Solution: Healthy eating and exercise can never be replaced by a pill.

Myth #7: You Should Never Eat Fast Food

The Facts: It’s all about what you order. Fried, processed and salty foods will cause weight gain – don’t order them. Lean meat, salad, vegetables and beans, on the other hand, are available at many fast food chains – order these instead.

Solution: When eating fast food, skip the fried items and stick with lean meats and salads.

Trying to lose weight is often frustrating. In a world filled with quick fixes, lasting weight loss is not something that happens overnight. Remember that it took time to gain the weight, so it will also take some time to lose it.

Permanent weight loss happens as a result of a proper exercise and diet plan.

You can find Michael at www.fitnessgenerator.com/farringtonfitness or email him to sign up for his newsletter farringtonfitness@hotmail.com.

Are You Ready for Your Best Life?

Whether you believe in resolutions or not, it always seems like the start of a new year is a time of reflection and renewal. I have so many exciting things planned for all of our Girls With Dreams friends this year! Some I’ve shared before and others I will keep as a surprise. For now, I wanted to give you something to get your New Year off to a great start! Below are three of the things I will be blogging about soon! Watch for a new post on each of these to find out how you can start creating your best life today!

Put yourself first by taking care of yourself.

Make Your Own Vision Board!

One way to kick start your year, or embark upon a turning point in your life is to create a Vision Board that helps you visualize what you want to have in your life. This activity is a huge step in creating the life you really want.

It’s easy to get started:

1. Find poster board, a piece of cardboard, the back of wrapping paper, etc…

2. Flip through magazines and cut out pictures of things you want to accomplish this year. Look for words, images, and things you really resonate with.

3. Glue all of the items you select onto your vision board. You can really let your creativity shine through on this step. Add scrapbooking materials, embellishments or other items to give your Vision Board even more of a personal touch.

4. Look at your Vision Board every day to remind yourself of what you want to have and create in your life. Imagine what it would feel like if your team won the soccer championship, you traveled to Spain for the first time, or you aced your Chemistry exam. Get the Idea?

We’d love to see or hear about your Vision Board! Email your thoughts or pictures to info@girlswithdreams.com to tell us how yours is coming along and how it’s paid off.

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