Don’t Base Your Life on Relationships

I see it all the time. If someone’s not in a relationship, they make it their number one goal to be in one. They do this because they think they need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy. I hope I don’t have to tell you this, but that is not true! There are so many more things in life to be happy about; friends, family, hobbies, pets, school(if that’s your thing!), and so much more.

Now, I’m not saying it’s bad to be in a relationship. If it’s a good one, then relationships can be so much fun. But, what I am saying is not to make it a top priority if you’re not in one. You might think you’re not cool or not wanted if you don’t have a boyfriend. I can speak for myself and say that I have felt that before. It took me a long time to realize that if I stopped focusing on that and focused more on other things, like friends, jobs, and being successful, then the relationship part of life just kind of happens on its own.

So this one is short and sweet. I say this all the time on here, but I’ll say it again. You don’t need a guy to make you happy! When you look back on being young, would you rather remember all the good times with friends(maybe some that turned into lifetime friends), or just try and remember who you were dating in which grade? I’m gonna go with the first one. I hope you do too.

Dating Tips: How to Enforce Your Boundaries

When you start school this year you might end up meeting someone and start dating. No matter how old you are we all come across the problem of not knowing where to enforce the boundaries when it comes to dating. When is it all right to have the first kiss? When is it all right to go all the way?

We all ask ourselves these questions and a lot of us look to our friends for the answer but the truth is we are the only people that can make these choices for our selves. We know what is best for us. If my best friend is ready to have sex that doesn’t mean I am ready to. This school year make your own choices when it comes to enforcing boundaries.  Make sure you have the right information.  If you’re not comfortable talking to your parents, seek out some of the books we’ve talked about on our website like the Body Scoop for Girls or Secrets Girls Keep. 

In the end, don’t be afraid to enforce your boundaries, don’t let your boyfriend talk you into something you are not ready for. Be strong and stick up for what you think is right. Talk to your boyfriend and make sure you two are on the same page. Enforce boundaries and don’t do anything you don’t want to.

Back to School Blitz: Dating Tips

New year of school equals new boys… sometimes old ones.

I’m about to head off to college, and I know I’ll be meeting a lot of new friends. This summer has made me realize that you have to be careful about who you trust. Not everybody is who they seem or who they act like.

You have to find out about a guy before anything serious. This won’t necessarily happen to everybody but It’s something to look out for… something I’ve noticed lately is when the upperclassmen boys get interested in younger girls during the new school year.

I’m not saying every guy is a bad guy, but I hope all girls take the time to get to know someone they’re talking to or trying to date. It’s worth the effort.

On another note, I’ve learned from experience… you can’t always give everybody the benefit of the doubt. If a guy is treating you badly, don’t stick around.

Every girl can be confident and independent. There’s much more to life than only dating.

Dating is a plus, but please understand that you have your whole life ahead of you. Keep fighting for your dreams and be successful.

Back to School Blitz: Dating Tips for Middle School

Everyone starts dating at a certain age, some don’t want a boyfriend till they are 16 or 18 and some try to find a guy at 12. Everyone is different so if you are in the 8th grade and have never had a boyfriend… THAT IS OK! There is nothing wrong with that. I think girls all the time make it seem like it’s bad but it’s not, it’s totally fine.

Most important, stay true to yourself.  Too many girls who don’t have a boyfriend try to be someone they are not by trying to be the girl that they think boys will like.  This helps no one.  If you can surround yourself with good friends and stay involved with activities that make you feel good, you’ll eventually find the right guy!

Find whatever you are comfortable with and go from there, just don’t do something because everyone else is.

Dating Advice for Freshman Teens: How to Deal With Older Guys

Our team has one major piece of back to school dating advice for freshman. Watch out for older guys. For the full scoop on what they think you need to know check out their tips in this video.

Take a Stand!

I have noticed lately that a lot of my friends are having trouble with their boyfriends. Either rumors are spreading about the guy liking another girl or they’re constantly arguing. I’m not sure about what others think, but these don’t sound like healthy relationships.

If your boyfriend treats you badly or the two of you are always fighting, maybe you should take a break and try something new. Who knows? Maybe the two of you will appreciate each other more. Maybe you’ll decide that it’s best to move on. All I  know is that no girl should get themselves stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make them happy. If you feel like it’s time to move on, be honest with yourself and don’t be afraid to take a stand.

Independent Women

I just heard Kesha’s new single “Your Love is My Drug” and I think girls are stronger than this song makes us out to be. Why do we sit and feel sorry for ourselves after things don’t work out with a guy? It’s a cycle that never seems to end. Almost every girl’s facebook status is about a stupid boy. I’m sick of it because I know we’re better than this.

The only way to persevere is to be confident. Be independent and live for yourself. Don’t rely on a guy to make you happy. You’ve got to love yourself first if you’re going to love someone else.

Dating and Twilight: Is it Realistic for Girls?

Many of our Girls With Dreams team members are big fans of the Twilight Series. Some girls understand the difference between reality and fantasy and watch or read the Twilight Series for enjoyment. Other girls have a more difficult time sorting out how dating a Cullen compares to dating in the real world.

Recently, one of you sent a question to info@girlswithdreams.com about how the characters in Twilight are influencing your expectations. Here was part of the question:

“I’m in 8th grade and I’m fourteen. If you’ve ever seen Twilight Saga movies or watched Vampire Diaries, you will understand what I’m about to tell you. I want a boy to love me like the boys in those movies and shows and books. I had this idea about how my life would be and now I find out a boy like that doesn’t exist. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong here on earth. I feel like I belong in a romance movie or novel.”

In response to her question, we sent her back lots of advice from other teens. We also talked more about dating and Twilight in this Girls With Dreams interview. In addition to this, here was one of the responses:

“I love all those books and shows, too. At your age, I watched movies such as a Walk to Remember and want that for myself. Honestly, life just isn’t like that and you will realize that as you get older. Especially at your age, guys don’t know how to love girls. I am 18 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Our lives are far from perfect. You will find a guy who cares about you and loves you. Just give it time. And when you get that guy, don’t hold him up to expectations like Edward Cullen or Stefen. Those are unrealistic and your guy will be unique in his own way. Life isn’t about finding that guy. You’ll find him one day. Just be happy with how your life is now. Hang out with your friends or join a club you’re interested in. Don’t be shy; be outgoing and have FUN!”

Dating Advice on Break Ups & Changing Others

After a bad break-up, I have noticed that couples get upset at each other over everything. Most of their fights can be prevented if they accept who the other person is. I believe that too much time is spent picking out the flaws in someone, and you over-look who they truly are.

If you can’t accept someone for who they are, then you should not change them. Everyone has their perfections and imperfections. It’s a habit to pick out faults: someone picking their friends over their girlfriend, working too much, not calling enough. Most people try to change someone’s habits.  Instead think about breaking the habit of trying to change someone.

You’ll be happier in your next relationship and so will the person you’re with!

Teens and Dating Violence: Secrets Girls Keep Contributor Shares Advice

 Recent headlines of Rihanna’s own struggle with dating violence has given more girls courage to speak up.  We know one in three teen girls will face some form of violence in her dating relationship. One of the teen contributors to the book Secrets Girls Keep by Carrie Silver-Stock shares advice for other teen girls about dating and dating violence.

You can watch her talk about dating violence in this video.

Other stories from teen contributors to Secrets Girls Keep can be found on the Girls With Dreams YouTube Channel as well as the Secrets Girls Keep Fan Site.

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