Can we count you in for our Summer Self-Esteem Challenge sponsored by Girls With Dreams? Are you tired of feeling pressured to have a perfect body? Are you tired of comparing yourself and being... 

Pre-Order Secrets Girls Keep!

“Carrie Silver-Stock offers true, easy-to-tackle tips for teen girls to help them overcome some of the issues that affect them most—looks, boys, friends, and families.” Read the story »

Teen Expert Shows Audience How to Connect With Daughters

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CONTACT: Elaine Krackau, PR by the Book, LLC | elaine@prbythebook.com | 512-733-5145

Hollywood Starlets Worsen Cult of Secrecy in Teen Girls

Teen expert shows audience how to connect with daughters

WHO: Teen expert Carrie Silver-Stock, M.S.W., L.C.S.W., author of Secrets Girls Keep: What Girls Hide (& Why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence (HCI Books, Nov 2009) and founder of Girls With Dreams.

WHAT: With role models like Rihanna, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears making headlines, many teen girls today struggle with feelings of low confidence, loneliness, rejection and depression and then look to unsafe sex, drugs and alcohol for comfort and answers.

Secrets Girls Keep is an honest approach for teenage girls today: the scary issues they face and the secrets they keep with advice on how to overcome low self-esteem by letting the secrets out and seven tips on how to live a better life. Silver-Stock shares the personal stories of other girls, showing girls they are not alone in their struggles. Each chapter tackles a separate issue that is relevant to teenage girls today along with stories and tips they can use to overcome those issues.

WHEN: Silver-Stock is available for interviews upon request. Her book is available for review.

INTERVIEW TOPICS:

·        Discuss statistics on teen pregnancy, eating disorders, dating violence and more and how parents can help their teens

·        Define the cult of secrecy and what it means for teens—how do parents break through

·        New issues that didn’t exist 10 years ago: sexting and internet safety

·        Our secrets hurt us and sometimes even haunt us beyond high school

·        How to discover your strengths and use them!

Silver-Stock is a mom of two and the founder of GirlsWithDreams.com. She is also the author of the award-winning book, The Powder Box Secrets. She lives near St. Louis, Missouri.

Secrets Girls Keep: What Girls Hide (& Why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence by Carrie Silver-Stock (HCI Books, Nov 2009, ISBN 978-0757313691, $14.95)

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For more information visit www.carriesilverstock.com. To schedule an interview or receive more information, please contact Elaine Krackau at elaine@prbythebook.com | 512.733.5145

Learning How to Forgive

I loved this blog post from my friend Ria because it reminds us of how to raise confident children and forgive ourselves at the same time:

“I was at the playground the other day with my kids and my 7 year old was reaching for the third rung of the monkey bars, which is still just beyond her reach. As I watched, I could feel myself tense up and in an effort to “help,” I heard myself thinking about all the things she could do to “improve her performance.” But I said nothing. In fact, I had to turn away because I had a sense that she was looking to me for approval that she was “doing it right.” I didn’t trust myself not to express my own frustration, although well meaning, which would come through as judgement.

I started reading the book I had with me, Days of Deepening Friendship by Vinita Hampton Wright: The child who experiences primarily judgment and punishment — at home, in school, in church or neighborhood — will not be free in anything she does. She will get upset at every mistake, and she will worry that the end result will bring anger and ridicule. And she definitely won’t experiment — no, she will ask the teacher repeatedly what the rules are and ask if she’s “doing it right.” Exactly. “Keep trying!” I yelled over to the monkey bars.

How many of us are pleasers or perfectionists? How many of us do things to seek the approval of our peers? Or, overextend ourselves physically and emotionally because we just can’t say “no?” How many of us base our choices out of obligation, guilt, fear of rejection, or fear of failure?

My hand is SO UP!!! And I know there are at least a handful of you mommies that are with me because we’ve talked about it, live and in person! I know what happens to those little girls who want to be perfect and just want everyone around them to be happy (especially with them). They give themselves away. That’s what I did. I looked outside of me for approval and jumped when someone said “Jump!” or “You should…” or “You need to…” If, as my friend Gail says, there are 86,400 seconds in a day and you spend 80,000 of them doing things that aren’t really about you, where are YOU in your life?

The child who experiences acceptance and forgiveness will be free to make mistakes, try something new, play as she works, and even enjoy what the other kids are making. Those children will grow up and eventually have children of their own. Those who learned judgment will worry over her kids and turn them toward worry, toward anxiety about failure and doing everything right. The parent who learned forgiveness will help create an atmosphere in which her children can discover who they truly are and become the gifted people they are meant to be.

And when the one you need to forgive is yourself? A friend of mine says that we call to us the relationships or circumstances that reflect our internal dialogue. Aren’t we our own worse critics? So if you will recall the emotional tantrum I had last week… I realize now that the external trigger called attention to my inner work. What about me is a liar and a fake? Zen Mommy was so right on! It really was the LIAR in me that I get to forgive. I get to forgive the me that was so afraid of rejection and “not belonging” that I betrayed myself for so many years… giving myself away out of obligation, guilt, fear, love for others, wanting to please, and make everyone happy.

Then forgiveness takes on the dimension of self love, like ZM says. It means allowing yourself to be human, like Chris Garrett says.

Yes, forgiveness is pivotal to how we get along in the world. Without it, we will never be free. With it, we live in freedom and also free others to live well. I get to forgive the little girl who grew up to be me… right now on the playground with my kids. I get to break the cycle and free myself and my children from a pattern of well-meaning criticism.

I went to Dotdotdash for a little retail therapy and bought myself a new dress. It wasn’t the one I intended to buy but it was the only one in my size and I loved it. My friend pointed out that this line has a personal mantra sewn into each sleeve. “Let’s see what your mantra is…” She said. “Forgiveness.” Of course it is! What’s your personal mantra?”

Ria Sharon is Practical Mommy on My Mommy Manual. For recommendations on travel car seats and other product reviews, positive parenting coaching, and more practical and inspired tips, visit www.mymommymanual.com or www.twitter.com/riasharon.