Miss Represetation: A Must See Video

Where do you think girls get their ideas about beauty? Who do you think is most influential…friends or movies? Have you ever thought about how we think about ourselves in relation to the movies and TV we watch? Check out this new trailer called MissRepresentation.

Advantages vs. Responsibilities: Technology

One of the beauties of the modern world might just be the technological advantages. I don’t believe that’s the only beauty, but just think of the things it’s allowed people to do.  These advantages come in handy especially for those with a recent change.

For example, one of my best friends is moving eleven hours away next Saturday. What would I do to keep in touch with her other than “snail mail” (or writing letters) at a constant rate? One of the first things we promised each other is to text, call, Skype, Facebook chat, and message one another every day so the transition for both of us will go more smoothly.

What would I do to keep this pledge without technology?  Without the “gift of technology” there would be no way my friend and I would stay in touch. Luckily, these inventions will allow us to stay close, even while remaining across America.
But is it true that these advancements come with great responsibility? Of course, of course, of course. You’ve heard of all the disasters involved with these things. Texting has taken a nasty picture messaging turn. Facebook has leaked pictures, information, and rumors that have caused depression and suicide. Now I’m not trying to scare anyone out there- it’s the reality that everyone has to face in order to be prepared to deal with what happens.
What’s the best way to get rid of these hazards that deal with technology? The answer is pretty different for everyone if you’d go into detail, but I like to follow these three points:
1. Wait- there’s no rush to create a Facebook account, get a cellphone, or that new web-cam. These things should be treated as privileges, not rights, and the time you and your parents decide is the right time… well that’s the right time for you!
2. Be careful- sounds pretty open, right? Being careful means many things. I think the most important thing to be careful of, is watch what you put out there, it remains out there forever. Before doing something online or on your phone that you’d have any doubts about, carefully analyze what you’ll think about it next week, next year. Will it be the kind of thing that could possibly come back to haunt you?
3. Stick with your friends- you don’t have to be the 100% social butterfly technologically. Send messages and associate with the people you know in real life, which means you’ve met them in person.
Sounds like a lot? These are just some of the responsibilities that come with technology. With increasing free time over the summer, more girls will turn to these outlets. But to avoid all in general, make yourself busy! Reserve the minutes for your out of town friends- write a letter!  Just always keep the advantages and responsibilities that come with your devices.  PS…a new movie on Cyberbullying just came out.  Find out more here.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Do you ever feel that you’re just growing up too fast? Many girls feel this way, due to lots of outside elements, such as the media, pressure, and expectations. Teen girls just want the chance to kick back and be a kid again! And with all this free time during the summer, why not?

Friends, and the “outside world” could have an impact on why girls don’t just have more fun. We’re practically programmed to fear what everyone else thinks of us, and going to the zoo doesn’t always bode well for image.

That is, unless you don’t care about constantly meeting expectations- this should happen a lot more often. Think of all the missed opportunities, or things you’ve dreamed of doing again, but held yourself back due to the fact that you’re afraid of what people would think of you.

If your friends are the ones holding you back, find someone else to go to the park, or the zoo with. This doesn’t mean drop your old friends, just find some people that allow you to be yourself. Go to these places with younger siblings or relatives! They’re like built in best buds, always there for you no matter what, especially to do the things you both love!

So don’t be afraid to act like a kid again, it’s the best way to have the best time!

Make New Friends

Studies have shown that girls throughout the world rely heavily on relationships. This makes sense, right? You call your friends when you need a laugh or a cry, you obsess over your crush, your family always comes in as a top priority. People are important to all of us.

So it makes sense that as we reach new places in our lives, we need to keep expanding our circles. What am I trying to say? Make new friends, but keep the old.

Camp is the perfect place to do just that. Grab an old pal and sign up for a day or sleepaway camp. Camp is a great chance to meet new people who share your interests. Last year, a group of friends and I went to a month-long sleepaway camp together. We knew a bunch of girls that had already gone, and we figured “Why not give them a chance, they could introduce us to friends from all over the country!” We walked out of that camp with friends from Washington D.C., Texas, Illinois, all over America, and even some from Israel! It was such a great experience — so great that we’re all going back this summer.

That is why girls rely so heavily on their friends. In a place where you’ve never been, such as a new sleepaway camp, it can be scary to think that you’re all alone. But the reality is, you’re surrounded by a bunch of potential friends.

Home is Where the Heart Is

I didn’t realize how much I missed my hometown until I got back here.

I didn’t realize that I missed the comfort of hitting that stoplight right before my house. I didn’t realize that I missed walking into the basement that was loaded up with my brother’s favorite cologne. I missed the local Fritz Frozen Custard stand and donut shop. Most of all, I sure missed my mom’s cooking.

Being home is incredible. My mom spoils me with home cooked meals every night. I just got my wisdom teeth removed and she’s babying me. I forgot how much I missed my mom and my family.

I forgot how good it felt to sleep in my own bed.

Being down in Busch Stadium today made me remember how lucky I am to live in STL and truly be HOME.

New Cyberbully Movie Airs Tonight

ABC premieres “Cyberbully” the movie tonight on it’s ABC Family Channel.  A real look at what teens face online, the movie follows Taylor, a young girl who has fallen victim to online bullying.

ABC has also teamed up with Seventeen magazine and put together many resources on the Cyberbully movie sight about digital drama and online bullying.  You can even take a poll and see the results about mean things happening online.

Let us know what you think about the new Cyberbully movie and how you’ve dealt with online bullying!

Truth or Dare?

When my friends’ parents would ask me what I wanted to go to college for… I would say something along the lines of…

“I want to major in business and study abroad in Spain.” A year later, I’m still in the same boat. I’m a marketing management major with the intention of studying abroad. However I realized that college is a lot more than getting a degree.

In high school, my school became a part of me a lot more than I became a part of it.  Since August, my college taught me a lot about myself. I slowly learned that there are things I have passion for.

I have always known that I love to dance, that I love fashion, and that I will overcome my life obstacles.

Truth? I’m scared. Truth? everyone is scared.

I feel like there are all these dreams, these ambitions that everyone has in their lives but so many people don’t dare. They just dream.

This year, after lots and lots of fear, I finally applied for a scholarship to a fashion school in California.

I got a tattoo that represented my past, present, and future. Dare.

There’s a lot of truth in our lives that we don’t want to accept so we just dream.

Dreaming only works when we dare to act on it.

Do What You Love

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” These are the words of writer Henry David Thoreau. Could this man be any more intelligent?

Probably one of the most important things in life is enjoying yourself every step of the way. Not literally every step necessarily, because where would we be without the priceless mistakes that let us grow daily? But the only way to make sure you’re getting the most out of the life you deserve, is to do what makes you happy.

Summer break is here, and you know the first two words that come into mind when I hear that? Free time! You’ve got a whole three months to do with what you please, and that can mean many different things for everyone. According to Mr. Thoreau, we should spend this time doing what makes us happy.

Are you a dancer? Dance. Do you enjoy time with your family and friends? Make the time to be with them. Enroll in a clay making workshop. Go on a hike. See a play. Be in a play. Sing your heart out to your favorite CD like nobody is there. By finding what makes you happy, you’ll be going in the right direction in no time. With a whole summer ahead of you, you’ve got plenty of time to decide.

Love Yourself - Part 1

We can all be hypocrites sometimes. A hypocrite is someone who says something, but does something else. (Ex. You say it’s bad to lie, but you still lie.)

But we don’t always know that we are doing it. I think one big thing a lot of us are hypocrites on is our problems. It’s really easy for us tell other people to love themselves, and make an entire list of reasons that they are a good person. But a lot of the time, when it comes to loving ourselves, it’s not so easy.

This is because we see everyone else from the outside. There’s only one person that you truly know every little detail about- and that’s you. You probably don’t share all of the not-so-good details about yourself with everyone. But you probably do share the good ones. Well, most people are like this. So we tend to think that they are better people than us because we don’t know all the not-so-good details about them.

The truth is- nobody is perfect.

There are lots of things that add to our negative thoughts about ourselves. When we think about one thing we don’t like about ourselves, we tend to start thinking of more and more bad things. It’s kind of like when we are mad at our parents for something, we start thinking of everything they do that makes us mad. We do the exact same things to ourselves without realizing it or meaning to.

Sometimes we regret doing something, and so we think we are a bad person. We never forgive ourselves for it, and so we go through life never being happy with ourselves. But again…

Nobody is perfect.

Sometimes there is one little thing we don’t like about our body, so we keep looking at it and telling ourselves how ugly or gross it is. Then we are already attacking ourselves, so we start to find more and more things on our body that we say we don’t like. Even when someone compliments us on something, we brush it off. If someone tells you, “I really like your outfit today!”, we may say thank you, but inside we often just think that it’s really not that great.

We never think we are good enough, and so we are never happy. You end up being very insecure. I believe that it is true that you cannot love someone until you love yourself. I had a period of time where I was very insecure and thought a lot of negative things about myself, and it effected my relationship in a very negative way. Because of my insecurity, I was always reading into everything he did as something against me. But he made me realize what I was doing to myself, and helped me love myself again.

Even if you did something very bad, you have to forgive yourself. It is not easy, and it takes time. If you learn from your mistake (no matter how bad it was), you should be proud of yourself for learning from it. Many people make the same mistakes over and over (even very bad ones), and never learn from it. As long as you acknowledge the mistake, take your consequences, and ultimately learn and grow into a better person, you have no reason to think you are a bad person.

Remember? Nobody is perfect.

It is not bad to acknowledge all of your good qualities. It’s not conceited at all. Conceited would be thinking that you are better than everyone else, or, thinking that you ARE perfect. There is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing all of the good qualities about yourself. You can even love physical things about yourself without being conceited. One thing I did to begin loving myself again was make short lists of things I loved about myself. At first, I thought it was being conceited. But with the help of others, I learned that it is not at all.

Here is my list. I started out with a list of 5 things, then slowly started making my list longer. I encourage you start making lists about things you love about yourself. It’s okay to start small.

1. I love that I like to help people.

2. I love that I am close to my family.

3. I love the color of my eyes.

4. I love that I am independent, and that I am my own person. I don’t try to be anyone else. I am just me.

5. I love my hair and that I’ve never wanted to dye it because I love my natural blonde color.

We All Need Help Sometimes

I know this looks like a long one, but trust me, it’s worth it.

Recently, someone very close to me has been going through a lot.

He has gone through more in his 21 years than most people do in their whole lives. All the stuff that has happened to him started to build up inside him. But he didn’t tell anyone that something was wrong. He just let it continue to build up until one night when he exploded. He drank a lot of alcohol (keep in mind that he is 21), and decided to drive. He was speeding down the highway while intoxicated. When I found out about it I called the police and they found him. (There are several details that I left out for his privacy.)

He was lucky enough to live through this. He is now getting help and therapy to learn how to deal with things from his past emotionally and mentally. But even he will say that the events that night could have been avoided by doing two things: talking about what’s bothering him and leaning on other people.

His independent spirit has never wanted to “burden” other people with his problems. That’s how he puts it at least. But after this huge reality check, he has learned that there is nothing wrong with leaning on other people in hard times.

I’m telling you this story because I want you to learn from it. I hope that it doesn’t take something this drastic for you to learn that it’s okay to lean on other people. Whether it’s family, friends, a therapist, or all of those people, there is nothing wrong with accepting help. No matter what your story or problem is, NO ONE can carry it by themselves for forever- no matter how good they are at pretending.

There are several reasons why people don’t want to bring up something that’s bothering them to other people. It could be something embarrassing, or maybe you think you’ll be judged for it. Sometimes you just don’t know who you can trust. Or perhaps you think you can deal with it on your own, even though you really know that it’s weighing you down. I think all of us have experienced one of these. I know I have.

But whatever it is you need to talk about, none of those reasons should keep you from letting it out.

If it’s something embarrassing or you think you’ll be judged for it: talk to a family member, good friend, or trusted adult about it. They can help you without the stress of wondering if they’ll think differently of you.

If you don’t know who to trust to talk to: talk to a school counselor. They are trained to help you, and they love doing it. There are also free phone numbers you can call and websites you can go to. A few are listed at the bottom of this blog. The best part is, it’s all completely confidential. Even when you talk to a school counselor. Whatever you say stays just between you and them.

If you think you can handle it on your own: stop for a second and ask yourself, “Can I REALLY do this on my own?” You know (whether you admit aloud it or not) if something is too big for you to handle. If you realize that something is weighing you down, talk about it with someone. They can help you with situations that can’t be solved by one person.

Also, if you see someone you know that is holding something in, try to get them talk about it. You don’t have to be pushy or annoying about it. Some people really do just need a little time before they talk about it. Instead, just assure them that you are there for them when they do want to talk. If it’s something that they can’t talk to you about, encourage them to talk to somebody they can trust. They will thank you in the end.

Not only is my friend learning to lean on other people, but so am I. At first I didn’t think I needed help either. I thought I could just be strong for him on my own. But after awhile all the emotional stress started weighing down on me and I knew I had to talk to somebody. Although I had already talked to my mom and my grandma (my grandma is kind of my personal therapist), I needed to talk to someone outside the situation. So, I went to see a therapist at the college I go to.

I also didn’t want to tell my friend that I needed to talk to people about what was going on, but he could see how it was affecting me. Once I told him that I was going to the counselor, he was actually relieved.

He had already felt the affects of trying to do it alone, and didn’t want me to feel the same thing. He still knows that I am there for him and that I’m trying to be strong for him, but he knows that I’m human too and that I also need to lean on other people so that he can lean on me.

If you look closely, the whole world is full of people leaning on other people- and that’s okay.

Here are some helpful websites to go to if  you need to talk to someone:

http://suicidehotlines.com/

http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/AskIt/Pages/default.aspx?gclid=CPiwktG6uKgCFQQbKgodaTv3CA

http://www.myshrink.com/online-crisis-counseling.php

http://www.stressgroup.com/home.html

http://www.teencentral.net/?gclid=CI_g0fi6uKgCFcq8KgodAm_HCg

http://us.reachout.com/wecanhelpus/

http://www.troubledteen.us/free-teen-help.php

http://teenlineonline.org/teens/

http://www.psychresources.net/

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