Why I Want to Help Teen Girls

I’m so excited about this new book I’m writing called, Secrets Girls Keep . People often ask why I wrote The Powder Box Secrets or how I started Girls With Dreams. To put it simply, I know all of us have secrets, especially teenagers. So here’s a little bit more about why I want to help teen girls.

Our secrets help us, hurt us, and seem to be a rite of passage into our teen years and beyond. I think most teenage girls have secrets. Some cement friendships, others help us hide our true feelings or problems.

I don’t want to have to fake it anymore. I don’t want girls to hide their fears, pain or despair. I want us to be able to tell our truths, share our secrets, and give each other the strength and courage we need to be ourselves and follow our dreams. We take steps to reach our best life by opening up and sharing. Don’t we all want to put our best foot forward and embrace all the possibilities in a world that is creating more opportunities for girls and women?

After all, each of you are amazing, courageous, intelligent, unique, and beautiful! Can you accept that? Don’t let society brand you with one of its labels. We are all so much more than the popular girl, pretty girl, goth girl, religious girl, prep, jock, or nerd.

Everything we do at Girls With Dreams is about dropping the labels we’ve accepted for ourselves and given to others. It’s about celebrating being girls and sharing ideas and secrets that connect us all. I’m tired of accepting what our society tell us we need to do in order to be successful or liked. Those expectations are based on the premise that we’re never good enough and, even worse, that we must knock each other down to get to the top. It doesn’t need to be that way. I want to start a movement where girls push back the stereotypes, false labels, unrealistic expectations, and airbrushed images that surround us and shape us. I wanted to create a safe place where girls create and own their biggest dreams, a place where we can support each other, and a place where we take action in our own life and in the world around us.

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Survival Tips for Stress During the Holidays

Thanksgiving, exams, final papers, Hanukkah, Christmas, family outings, holiday programs, and more. This time of year seems so crazy! If stress is starting to creep into your life, use these simple tips to stay relaxed and enjoy the holidays!

• Keep your exercise routine as normal as possible. If you don’t have one, try to do something!  Exercise is one of the first things to let go when you’re stressed, but it’s also one of the most important ways to keep stress at bay. Not only does it release natural stress reducing chemicals but it’s good for you!
• Map out your key priorities. Don’t feel like you need to get everything done at once. Write down what you need to accomplish this month, then break down the list into weeks. This will help you attack your to-do list in small pieces.
• Do you have a friend who seems to have it all together? Ask her for her best tips!
• Watch what you’re eating. Holiday food is awesome, but too much junk will weigh you down and make you less productive. Make moderation your mantra! You can enjoy the goodies, just not tons at a time.
• Don’t forget to schedule some fun! After you finish that term paper or take that test, go ice skating with friends, watch your favorite movie, or go to the mall to reward yourself. 

Do you have a survival tip you want to share? Email us at info@girlswithdreams.com and we’ll post your tips!

Helping Out a Friend

Just the other day, I found out a friend of mine was a rape victim. I was so shocked. I was scared for her and realized she needed me. Talking to her was hard, but I learned a lot about being a good friend and how I could help her.

Be there for her.

Nothing is worse than having something you need to talk about and not having anyone to talk to. If your friend needs you, put aside your social calendar for a couple hours and talk to her. Make sure she knows you’ll be there in her time of need.

Let her talk to you.

It may sound easy, but it’s actually really hard to just listen to someone. Don’t start talking about your bad day or the drama between you and your best friend. This is her time and she needs someone who can make the conversation all about her.

Be patient.

Sometimes it takes a while for someone to open up, even if she’s your best friend. It took my friend a few days before she was able to talk to me. Even though we sat in silence for a few hours, I knew it would be worth the wait when she was able to talk. Don’t rush her and don’t ask a ton of questions. Wait for her to feel ready and secure enough to open up.

It’s okay to cry.

Whether it’s you crying, her crying, or the two of you together, crying is always okay. My friend was so conscious about shedding tears in front of me, and she had no reason to be. Crying is a form of release and can really help a person to relax a little.

Let her know it’s going to be okay.

Yes, what happened to your friend may be overwhelming, but reassure her that everything will work out. Make sure she knows things will go back to normal eventually. Her world may be in pieces now, but with your help and the help of others, she’ll return to her every-day routines faster than she thinks.

What does this historic moment mean to you?

Even if you’re not yet old enough to vote, you can’t help but watch the history unfolding before our eyes. Some of you were McCain and Palin supporters, while others supported Barack and Biden. Political parties aside, one of the most important things to celebrate is that so many Americans came forward and participated in this historic election. Another important achievement worth celebrating is the fact that either candidate would have made history by winning.

Barack Obama’s victory has broken new ground. This moment has historic significance on so many levels. We are breaking down racism and barriers that have existed for generations. This moment gives way to new dreams, hopes and opportunities for so many because it proves that anything is possible! I hope it will inspire you to dream bigger for yourself, get involved in the world around you, and to live a bigger life!

A friend of mine from NYC was at Rockefeller Center and Times Square last night. She said the streets were filled with “a joyous pandemonium.” People everywhere were honking horns and yelling, “Yes, we can!”

What will your “Yes we can” be? For yourself? For our country? For the world? What do you want to dream bigger about and say yes to?

We’d love to post your responses! Share your thoughts at info@girlswithdreams.com

Make the most out of any vacation.

Hey ladies! I just got back from my honeymoon in New Orleans and wanted to share how I prepared for the trip so that everyone can make the most out of any vacation.

Do Your Homework. I bought several books to help me figure out where to stay, where to eat and what to do. Preparing this way allowed me to map out the trip. I made a rough list of things to do for each day, including what sights to see and where to grab a bite to eat. Although we didn’t always stick to the list, it was nice to have an idea of what we wanted to do before we arrived so we didn’t have to waste time deciding once we got there. You’ll also learn a lot of good tips that are relevant to any trip, or specific to your destination. For example, one book suggested eating at a nice restaurant for lunch instead of dinner because you’ll pay less for the same meal.

Ask Around. See if anyone you know has been to your vacation spot. They’ll be able to share must-see attractions, favorite restaurants, and even places to avoid. Don’t limit this step to the people you know, either. Keep asking around for recommendations once you arrive at your destination.

Pack Smartly. Be realistic about what you really need. Depending on the duration of your stay, you probably won’t need an entire suitcase devoted to accessories. I like to pack slightly more than I need just so I have plenty of choices to pick from later. My secret weapon is Space Bags. I use them to store my dirty laundry because it always seems to multiply by the time I’m headed home.

Be Flexible. Make sure to consider what everyone wants to do when you’re planning your trip. Our trip to New Orleans would’ve revolved around food if I had my way, but Tim does not get as excited about eating as I do. He also likes to relax while he’s on vacation, but I like to see everything I can cram into a day. In other words, it’s important to reach a compromise that allows everyone to experience the vacation they want. No matter what someone else might want to do (unless it’s unsafe, of course) keep an open mind and enjoy yourself.

Be Considerate. Tim and I couldn’t pass up taking a Ghost Tour and a Swamp Tour while we were in New Orleans. We learned so much from the tour guides and both excursions provided such memorable experiences that we were so grateful to have had them. Whether you’re taking a tour or not, remember to be a respectful guest by being open to learning and expressing your gratitude for the experience when necessary.

Be Safe. As long as you follow the above steps, especially Do Your Homework, you should be fine. Just remember to always be aware of your surroundings, travel in groups and don’t attract too much attention to yourself.

Does anyone else have other travel tips to share or experiences they’ve learned from?

Live life with a purpose.

Life can throw anything at you that might make life easier or more difficult than it already is. Being prepared emotionally and physically can make a big differnce in how you handle these types of obstacles. Prepare yourself by bringing more purpose into your life.

I like to complete an everyday “To Do List”. The list could be for a week’s worth of projects or enough simply for a day. At the end of each day, whether you had a horrible day or a good day, you’ll be able to reflect upon how productive you were that day. You may not get everything done, but there’s always tomorrow and the rest of your life to keep working at it.

Do not let any day pass you by. There is always a way to make life easier on yourself, improving your time management for example. You always want to have more free time with your friends, right? Well create your own list and start living life to the fullest and with a purpose. Every day should be an adventure met with a smile. Never regret anything you do, and make tomorrow a better day by being productive.

The Powder Box Secrets Book Club: Introduction

We had this idea at Girls With Dreams to start a book club based on our book, The Powder Box Secrets: Seven Tips to Help Teen Girls Achieve Success.

So, we’re launching our book club, while will include activities such as read-along ideas and journal topics. If you don’t have a book yet, you can order one right here at our site. If you’re not sure if you want to buy one, sign up for our newsletter and you’ll get the first chapter for FREE!

The first goal is to read pages 1-36: This is the Why I Wrote This Book, as well as the Introduction. I love the Introduction because you get to meet a few important people. In addition to meeting six girls just like you and learning about their ups and downs, you’ll also learn about the Seven Secrets! These secrets will be like your best friends. You can turn to them when you’re having a hard time or dealing with a problem you’re not sure how to handle.

As you get ready to read the first 36 pages, consider these questions as you follow along. Don’t forget that we would love to hear from all of you, so if you want to ask a teen editor or myself a question, please e-mail us at info@girlswithdreams.com.

Which of the six girls do you most relate to?

How does each of the girls have hope?

Pick your favorite girl and imagine how her story ends.

Which of the secrets is your favorite? Which is the easiest to use? Which is the hardest?

What other tips should be part of The Powder Box Secrets?

Turn the word ’secret’ around. What secrets do girls keep? Why do girls keep secrets?

Join us soon for more Book Club Guide questions!

Friends and Determination

I learned another great lesson about life this week as one of my little boys told me about his adventures in learning how to ride a 2-wheeler. He’s had a bike for a while, but it has training wheels. When he found out there are bikes without training wheels at his school, he became determined to learn how to ride one. 

For several days he came home with cuts and bruises on his legs, not complaining, just talking about how he was getting good at balancing and recalling that day’s adventures in learning to ride. The next day, he told me one of his friends was teaching him. It became evident to me that this friend of his went out of his way to spend time with him every day working on this feat. I’d ask him about his biking every day he came home. Just a few days ago, with a huge smile, he told me he did it! He could ride by himself! So, I’m sharing this with you because of what I learned watching this whole process.

Determination is key. He stayed positive, never gave up, and knew he was going to learn how to ride this bike. It didn’t matter how many bumps he endured along the way.

Friendship is key. I’m convinced this friend who worked with him every day played a big part in helping him learn and maintain his confidence and positive attitude. Do you have friends who would do this for you? Are you the kind of friend who would do this for someone else?

He was so full of an innocent pride and happiness when he accomplished this daunting task. We all need more of this! It seems like many girls tend to hide from their accomplishments as and don’t always have the confidence to share their victories. When we have successes, we need to celebrate them!

How can I eat with braces?

I’m getting braces in a few days and I just wanted to know what I should indulge in before they’re on. I’ve already snacked on Swedish Fish… you know, those red gummy fish-shaped candies - delicious! Then there’s popcorn which also gets tangled up in braces. So, I’m thinking I might have some popcorn this week, too. If you can relate to this “last meal” of sorts and have any must-have eats to recommend, I’d love to hear your ideas!

Register to Vote!

Hey Girls,

If you are 18 or are going to be 18 before the election on November 4th, please make sure you are registered to vote. It’s very simple! Just click on this link and follow the directions! Your voice and vote count!

http://www.rockthevote.com

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