Advice for Teens Whose Parents are Divorcing

My parents just told me they’re splitting up after 17 years of marriage. Is it gonna be hard?

Answer from the Girls With Dreams team:

Yes, it’s going to be hard. I have never personally gone through that, but I know from what I hear that it will be. I watched one of my good friends go through it. My advice is to not let it ruin you. By that, I mean don’t let it bring you down. I watched my friend go down so many bad paths. She cried all the time and she let it ruin her life even though it wasn’t her fault. Your parents love you whether they are together or not, and that is all that matters. Keep your head held high and be positive. Talk to a friend that has already been through it. I’ll work on uploading a video about this, but don’t dwell on it in the meantime. Many kids go through this and you just have to know that in the end, everything happens for a reason.

Remember, If you have a question for our team, email us at info@girlswithdreams.com and put ADVICE in the subject line. Look for more great advice from our teens on Girls With Dreams TV and in Carrie’s new book, Secrets Girls Keep.

Advice on Boy Problems

My friend liked this guy who didn’t like her. He liked me and I liked him. He told her that he didn’t like her and that he liked me. Now she hates me because I’m hanging out with him. She’s calling me ugly and saying she doesn’t know why anyone would like me. She’s being really mean and I just need some help.

Answer from the Girls With Dreams team:

Boy problems aside, your friend is saying mean things because she is upset with you. She must not mean what she is saying, though, because why would she think these mean things about you now if she didn’t believe them before she was upset with you?

You have two questions to ask yourself:

1. Is this boy going to be worth it in the end?
2. Is your friend a true friend if she is acting like this?

I can’t tell you what to do. Only you know the full situation and the personalities of these two people. Before you make any more decisions, you need to sit down by yourself and really think about the situation. Consider the outcomes that will result from each decision. Ask your mom or a close friend that you can trust for their feedback. Plus, sometimes you just need to vent.

As girls, we need to stand by each other and be strong, but maybe your friend is weighing you down. Maybe this boy is ruining your friendship. Maybe you need to forget about the whole situation and pretend like it never happened.

Think about how you would feel if you were in your friend’s situation. How would you want someone to handle it when talking to you?

You and your friend probably need to sit and talk. The key word is talk! Let her know you care about her and you’re sorry for upsetting her, but that you really like this boy. Ask her what she wants from you. What would she want you to do in a perfect world?

Honestly, a lot of friends are going to come and go. Your best friends will stick with you no matter what. Just try not to stir up any more drama as you try to find a solution. Don’t talk about your friend behind her back so you can demonstrate that you’re the bigger person. Hopefully, the two of you can arrive at a peaceful agreement, whether you decide to stay friends or not.

Remember, If you have a question for our team, email us at info@girlswithdreams.com and put ADVICE in the subject line. Look for more great advice from our teens on Girls With Dreams TV and in Carrie’s new book, Secrets Girls Keep.

Dealing with Friends Who Are Drinking and Doing Drugs

What do you do when one of your close friends starts smoking weed, doing drugs or starts drinking? How should you handle it? Do you stage an intervention or do you ignore and continue to let them ruin their life?

Answer from the Girls With Dreams team:

This is a tough question and it’s a problem for a lot of people. I know so many people who have gone down the wrong path because of drugs and drinking. It’s a sad thing. If one of your close friends is doing drugs or drinking, the only thing you can really do is talk to them. Ask them to go to a coffee shop or the mall with you and tell them how you feel. Make sure they know you’re telling them you wish they wouldn’t do drugs because you care about them. If starting the conversation is too hard to do in person, organize your thoughts in a letter or a send them a text. Remember these tips:

1. Use “I” messages. Using phrases such as “I feel…” or “I don’t think this is best” rather than “You need…” or “You should…” removes the blame from them. You want them to know you’re trying to help while not losing them as a friend.
2. Don’t be their mom. Although you’re trying to help them, you might push them away. Say things such as “As a friend, I care about you” instead of trying to tell them what to do.
3. Think of other activities for you and your friend. They might think there is nothing better than doing drugs, but try to show your friend how you can have fun by doing other things. Invite the girls over for a slumber party or go to a movie.

Never stop yourself from doing something because you’re afraid of what people think. Be your own person and help your friend out. That’s what friends are for. True friends are there through thick and thin, through bad time and good times. One day your peers will realize how strong of a person you are for speaking up. And although your friend might get upset with you, she will thank you in the end for caring.

Finally, here’s a few questions to think about:

1. What will you lose by talking to your friend?
2. What will happen if you don’t talk to your friend?
3. If you were in your friend’s position, wouldn’t you want someone to talk to you?

Remember, If you have a question for our team, email us at info@girlswithdreams.com and put ADVICE in the subject line. Look for more great advice from our teens on Girls With Dreams TV and in Carrie’s new book, Secrets Girls Keep.

Advice for Going Stag to Homecoming

I want to go to Homecoming, but I don’t have a date. So now what?

Answer from the Girls With Dreams team:

Don’t sweat it!  Here’s a few things you might consider:

1. Boost your own confidence. Many girls think there must be something wrong with them when they don’t have a date. Keep your head up high and take note of your best qualities. Are you athletic, smart, funny or all of the above? Ask your friends for help if you get stuck.
2. Consider going to Homecoming with a group of friends. You won’t have to worry about what he’s thinking as you and your ladies hit the dance floor.
3. You don’t always have to wait for him to ask you. Think about doing it differently this year.
4. If you decide not to go to Homecoming, that’s fine too. Just make sure you plan a fun night for yourself. Invite a friend over for a movie and manicures!

Remember, If you have a question for our team, email us at info@girlswithdreams.com and put ADVICE in the subject line. Look for more great advice from our teens on Girls With Dreams TV and in Carrie’s new book, Secrets Girls Keep.

Girls With Dreams.com Advice Column Added

You asked for it, and we gave it to you! Email your questions to info@girlswithdreams.com with ADVICE in the subject line and our Girls With Dreams team will respond on our blog.

Whatever type of question you might have about your life as a teen, we are here to help. Your name and contact information will be kept confidential.