Teens and Dating Violence: Secrets Girls Keep Contributor Shares Advice

 Recent headlines of Rihanna’s own struggle with dating violence has given more girls courage to speak up.  We know one in three teen girls will face some form of violence in her dating relationship. One of the teen contributors to the book Secrets Girls Keep by Carrie Silver-Stock shares advice for other teen girls about dating and dating violence.

You can watch her talk about dating violence in this video.

Other stories from teen contributors to Secrets Girls Keep can be found on the Girls With Dreams YouTube Channel as well as the Secrets Girls Keep Fan Site.

Teens talk about Depression, Dating Violence, and Secrets

Secrets Girls Keep is filled with stories of other girls just like you.  Carrie, the author, sat down and talked with some of the girls whose stories appeared in the book.  In November, we will feature a special video series covering many topics.  Below is a schedule of events.  Check back here or the Girls With Dreams TV on Youtube to watch!

Tuesday November 2: Dealing with Grief (part 1)

Friday November 5th:  Dealing With Your Self Image & Dealing with Grief (part 2)

Thursday November 12:  Dealing with Divorce Part 1 and Part 2

Tuesday November 17: Dealing with Dating:  How Far is Too Far?

Thursday November 19:  Dealing with Eating Disorders

Monday Noveber 23:  Dealing with Depression

Monday November 30: Dealing with Dating Violence

Wanna get the book?  You can order it online or find it wherever books are sold!  Or, find out more about the book every teen needs to have at the Secrets Girls Keep fan site!

Can Schools Help Prevent Dating Violence?

With the recent attention on dating violence, we wanted to share ideas on how schools can play a bigger role in preventing it. Watch other teen girls give their ideas here.

Here are a few other suggestions you might try at your school:

• Organize an awareness week about dating violence. Invite a speaker or plan a program to illustrate the topic. The Yellow Dress is a great example, and you can find out more here.
• Distribute ribbons or wristbands or something along those lines as a reminder to end dating violence.
• Talk to your student government and get them involved. Consider partnering with other schools in your area to get more awareness.
• You can always start small. Talk to your group of friends, or your own Girls With Dreams Friend Circle and agree to take a stand against violence in relationships.

Dating Violence: Teens Share what They See

Have you ever been a victim of dating violence? How about one of your friends? Unfortunately, many teens have experienced dating violence in one way or another. If it hasn’t touched them personally, many people know someone who has dealt with it. Check out what teens have seen when it comes to dating violence.

If you or a friend is in a violent relationship, be sure to read these important tips.

Too Much Dating Violence

A recent article in the New York Times, A Rise in Efforts to Spot Abuse in Youth Dating, really grabbed my attention. It confirmed so much of what I’m seeing and hearing from young people. Violence in dating relationships happens way too much! Statistics confirm that at least 1 in 10 girls has been in a violent relationship. However, with cell phones and email, many experts agree that harassment through these channels has increased.

Even though more school districts, parents, and individuals are improving programs and talking about dating violence, we need to do more!

When I recently asked girls for stories for my new book, Secrets Girls Keep, too many confirmed my deepest fears. Too many stories were about how girls had been mistreated in their relationships. Many had tragic results, but not as tragic as Heather Norris who actually lost her life to her boyfriend. Many of the girls I talked to are healing and have learned how to turn a bad situation into something they can learn and grow from.

If you or a friend is in a violent relationship, you are not alone! Please reach out for help at the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.

We at Girls With Dreams are committed to helping girls learn how to be more courageous and confident and to have healthy self esteem. Watch for our blog post series on knowing the signs of dating violence and more ideas on what you can do about it!

Dating Tips: How to Enforce Your Boundaries

When you start school this year you might end up meeting someone and start dating. No matter how old you are we all come across the problem of not knowing where to enforce the boundaries when it comes to dating. When is it all right to have the first kiss? When is it all right to go all the way?

We all ask ourselves these questions and a lot of us look to our friends for the answer but the truth is we are the only people that can make these choices for our selves. We know what is best for us. If my best friend is ready to have sex that doesn’t mean I am ready to. This school year make your own choices when it comes to enforcing boundaries.  Make sure you have the right information.  If you’re not comfortable talking to your parents, seek out some of the books we’ve talked about on our website like the Body Scoop for Girls or Secrets Girls Keep. 

In the end, don’t be afraid to enforce your boundaries, don’t let your boyfriend talk you into something you are not ready for. Be strong and stick up for what you think is right. Talk to your boyfriend and make sure you two are on the same page. Enforce boundaries and don’t do anything you don’t want to.

Dating Advice: Abusive Relationships

Chris Brown’s recent domestic violence charges remind us dating violence can happen to anyone, even a superstar like Rihanna.

Such relationships are more common than you might think. When I was collecting stories for my forthcoming book Secrets Girls Keep, too many girls shared experiences of emotional or physical abuse in their relationships. In fact, these instances happen to at least one in ten girls. Some experts believe this statistic is on the ris. Even though a recent New York Times article suggests some schools are doing more to address this serious problem, we all need to get involved.

Love is Respect has great ideas on their site. Even though Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week just passed, it’s never too late to do something. It starts with each of us and our friends.

• Know the warning signs of dating violence. Excessive put downs, attempts to isolate someone from friends and family, hitting, and unexplained bruieses or marks are only a few of the many signs.
• Stay close to your friends. A recent study suggests one of the best ways to stay safe is to have a close group of friends. Surround yourself with girls who empower you and bring out the best in you.
• If you know someone who is in an unsafe relationship, talk to her about it and confide in a trusted adult to create a safety plan.
• Bring attention to this at your school. Start a ribbon campaign, have a Battle of the Bands Fundraiser for a local women’s shelter, or do presentations in health classes. If you have more ideas, email them to info@girlswithdreams.com.
• Always remember your worth and value isn’t dependent on a guy. You are amazing now! It’s so easy for us to feel like we must have a boyfriend to feel special, important, or good enough. Don’t buy into this. We have to remind each other of this every day!

Courageous Teens

I was recently traveling and met a courageous young woman I wanted to tell you about. This wasn’t courage like rescuing someone from a burning building or a heroic act.  It was a silent courage that probably has gone unnoticed by most people.  We bumped into each other during traveling and we talked about some of our life experiences.  I was so impressed with her courage and determination to be true to herself that I wanted to share some of what I gleaned from her in a short time.

Sydney shared with me a time in her life where she was in a long term relationship that was verbally abusive.  She didn’t see how bad things were getting and if it weren’t for one decision of hers, she might still be in a dangerous relationship.  She had an argument with her boyfriend and ended things.  Shortly after that when she was deciding what to do after highschool she decided to leave her town and go out on her own.  Sydney seemed to have bigger visions for her life than anyone around her had ever imagined.  I was so impressed with the courage this must have taken her.  She told me though that many of her friends have kids now and are probably barely 20 years old.  She didn’t want that life for herself.   I hope someday that Sydney and I will meet again and maybe she can tell you the story herself in her own words.  It is these stories we need to hear from each other.

I admired Sydney because she

• Listened to her intuition. She loved her boyfriend but could see it was not benefiting her and she had the courage to leave.  I’ve talked to so many teens who have struggled with dating violence and it’s never easy to figure out what to do.
• Wanted a bigger life for herself.  She went out on her own to find herself even though she was the only one of her friends that chose a different path.
• Has kept her passions alive.  She is working to support herself but is open to figuring out her next steps and how she can use her talents in the best way.

Sample Media Questions for author Carrie Silver-Stock

Sample Media Questions for Carrie Silver-Stock , author of

Secrets Girls Keep:

What Girls Hide (& Why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence

 

1.      What inspired you to write Secrets Girls Keep?

2.      What secrets are girls keeping?

3.      What is the cult of secrecy and why are girls hiding?

4.      What do teen girls need in their lives to keep from hiding and feel secure?

5.      How can girls start to break the stress of silence?

6.      How can parents help their girls do this?

7.      The concept of self-esteem eludes many teen girls. How can they find it?

8.      What is the most important thing for girls to know about dating violence?

9.      How can schools help prevent dating violence?

10.  How can parents compete with what our girls are learning from celebrities like Rihanna and Lindsay Lohan?

11.  Tell us about your organization, Girls With Dreams.

12.  What is 1 of your 7 Secret Tips for girls to live a better life? 

13.  What is your biggest piece of advice for parents of girls?

14.  You are a mom to two boys. Why such an interest in teen girls?

15.  What type of teenager were you?

16.  How can our audience get your book and what is your website?

17.  Do you have anything to add?

 

For more information, visit www.carriesilverstock.com & www.girlswithdreams.com. To schedule an interview with Carrie Silver-Stock or receive more information, please contact      Elaine Krackau at elaine@prbythebook.com | 512.733.5145

 

 

Teen Expert Shows Audience How to Connect With Daughters

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CONTACT: Elaine Krackau, PR by the Book, LLC | elaine@prbythebook.com | 512-733-5145

 

Hollywood Starlets Worsen Cult of Secrecy in Teen Girls

Teen expert shows audience how to connect with daughters

 

WHO: Teen expert Carrie Silver-Stock, M.S.W., L.C.S.W., author of Secrets Girls Keep: What Girls Hide (& Why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence (HCI Books, Nov 2009) and founder of Girls With Dreams.

WHAT: With role models like Rihanna, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears making headlines, many teen girls today struggle with feelings of low confidence, loneliness, rejection and depression and then look to unsafe sex, drugs and alcohol for comfort and answers.

Secrets Girls Keep is an honest approach for teenage girls today: the scary issues they face and the secrets they keep with advice on how to overcome low self-esteem by letting the secrets out and seven tips on how to live a better life. Silver-Stock shares the personal stories of other girls, showing girls they are not alone in their struggles. Each chapter tackles a separate issue that is relevant to teenage girls today along with stories and tips they can use to overcome those issues.

WHEN: Silver-Stock is available for interviews upon request. Her book is available for review.

INTERVIEW TOPICS:

·        Discuss statistics on teen pregnancy, eating disorders, dating violence and more and how parents can help their teens

·        Define the cult of secrecy and what it means for teens—how do parents break through

·        New issues that didn’t exist 10 years ago: sexting and internet safety

·        Our secrets hurt us and sometimes even haunt us beyond high school

·        How to discover your strengths and use them!

 

Silver-Stock is a mom of two and the founder of GirlsWithDreams.com. She is also the author of the award-winning book, The Powder Box Secrets. She lives near St. Louis, Missouri.

 

Secrets Girls Keep: What Girls Hide (& Why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence by Carrie Silver-Stock (HCI Books, Nov 2009, ISBN 978-0757313691, $14.95)

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For more information visit www.carriesilverstock.com. To schedule an interview or receive more information, please contact Elaine Krackau at elaine@prbythebook.com | 512.733.5145

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