May 30, 2011
It’s our third year of the GWD Summer Swimsuit Challenge! This is not a beauty contest, it’s a call to rally together around the positive ways we can express our self esteem and beauty. The purpose of the challenge is to reject negative fat talk, whether it’s putting ourselves down or talking about other girls. You can officially join our challenge and make comments on our Facebook page, our check out the original video that got this all started!
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May 25, 2011
Do you know someone graduating this year? Are you trying to figure out the perfect gift for them? Find out what our team of advisors has to say. Not only will you get great gift advice, but you’ll also get cool ideas for throwing a graduation party!
May 23, 2011
But we don’t always know that we are doing it. I think one big thing a lot of us are hypocrites on is our problems. It’s really easy for us tell other people to love themselves, and make an entire list of reasons that they are a good person. But a lot of the time, when it comes to loving ourselves, it’s not so easy.
This is because we see everyone else from the outside. There’s only one person that you truly know every little detail about- and that’s you. You probably don’t share all of the not-so-good details about yourself with everyone. But you probably do share the good ones. Well, most people are like this. So we tend to think that they are better people than us because we don’t know all the not-so-good details about them.
The truth is- nobody is perfect.
There are lots of things that add to our negative thoughts about ourselves. When we think about one thing we don’t like about ourselves, we tend to start thinking of more and more bad things. It’s kind of like when we are mad at our parents for something, we start thinking of everything they do that makes us mad. We do the exact same things to ourselves without realizing it or meaning to.
Sometimes we regret doing something, and so we think we are a bad person. We never forgive ourselves for it, and so we go through life never being happy with ourselves. But again…
Nobody is perfect.
Sometimes there is one little thing we don’t like about our body, so we keep looking at it and telling ourselves how ugly or gross it is. Then we are already attacking ourselves, so we start to find more and more things on our body that we say we don’t like. Even when someone compliments us on something, we brush it off. If someone tells you, “I really like your outfit today!”, we may say thank you, but inside we often just think that it’s really not that great.
We never think we are good enough, and so we are never happy. You end up being very insecure. I believe that it is true that you cannot love someone until you love yourself. I had a period of time where I was very insecure and thought a lot of negative things about myself, and it effected my relationship in a very negative way. Because of my insecurity, I was always reading into everything he did as something against me. But he made me realize what I was doing to myself, and helped me love myself again.
Even if you did something very bad, you have to forgive yourself. It is not easy, and it takes time. If you learn from your mistake (no matter how bad it was), you should be proud of yourself for learning from it. Many people make the same mistakes over and over (even very bad ones), and never learn from it. As long as you acknowledge the mistake, take your consequences, and ultimately learn and grow into a better person, you have no reason to think you are a bad person.
Remember? Nobody is perfect.
It is not bad to acknowledge all of your good qualities. It’s not conceited at all. Conceited would be thinking that you are better than everyone else, or, thinking that you ARE perfect. There is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing all of the good qualities about yourself. You can even love physical things about yourself without being conceited. One thing I did to begin loving myself again was make short lists of things I loved about myself. At first, I thought it was being conceited. But with the help of others, I learned that it is not at all.
Here is my list. I started out with a list of 5 things, then slowly started making my list longer. I encourage you start making lists about things you love about yourself. It’s okay to start small.
1. I love that I like to help people.
2. I love that I am close to my family.
3. I love the color of my eyes.
4. I love that I am independent, and that I am my own person. I don’t try to be anyone else. I am just me.
5. I love my hair and that I’ve never wanted to dye it because I love my natural blonde color.
May 22, 2011
If you’re getting ready to graduate, you’re going to want to hear from some of our team at Girls With Dreams who have already experienced graduation day. Check out what they think will help you have a great day!
May 22, 2011
“All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”
It’s almost the end of the school year and teachers are pilling on projects more than ever. I see students giving up all too much. The most important thing to do when learning or finishing a project is to apply yourself. Find an interest in what you are doing. It will help your grasp what your learning and you will be able to remeber the material a lot easier.
I picked this quote by T.E. Lawrence because it reminds me that anything is possible. To be honest it takes a lot for me to maintain the grades I have. I’v never been the smartest kid and honestly, I’m not even that good at writting, but because of my dedication and dreams I am eager to apply myself. I am confident when I say, if I can do it, you can definitely do it.
It really seems like teachers these days don’t take into consideration that thier class it not the only class you are in. I mean, at my school we have 7 classes a day. That’s a lot of material to retain! Not to mention all of the tedious projects they give us. Oh, and of course, those dreadful exams that we spend hours studying for. And our parents say these are the best years of our life? Psh.
Well my point is, when it comes to your education always go the extra mile. Stay focussed on your assignments and keep organized. Sometimes its the little things that can really help us out while trying to stay organized. Like page tabs, i love those things. Or new pencils and highlighters. Those are always useful.
I realize that adults tell you this all the time, but your education is your future. It will determine everything you do in your life. I am always really upset when I see good people giving up on thier grades. The teachers are only trying to prep you for college and your future jobs. In the end, apply yourself at times like these will get you far.
May 3, 2011
Recently, someone very close to me has been going through a lot.
He has gone through more in his 21 years than most people do in their whole lives. All the stuff that has happened to him started to build up inside him. But he didn’t tell anyone that something was wrong. He just let it continue to build up until one night when he exploded. He drank a lot of alcohol (keep in mind that he is 21), and decided to drive. He was speeding down the highway while intoxicated. When I found out about it I called the police and they found him. (There are several details that I left out for his privacy.)
He was lucky enough to live through this. He is now getting help and therapy to learn how to deal with things from his past emotionally and mentally. But even he will say that the events that night could have been avoided by doing two things: talking about what’s bothering him and leaning on other people.
His independent spirit has never wanted to “burden” other people with his problems. That’s how he puts it at least. But after this huge reality check, he has learned that there is nothing wrong with leaning on other people in hard times.
I’m telling you this story because I want you to learn from it. I hope that it doesn’t take something this drastic for you to learn that it’s okay to lean on other people. Whether it’s family, friends, a therapist, or all of those people, there is nothing wrong with accepting help. No matter what your story or problem is, NO ONE can carry it by themselves for forever- no matter how good they are at pretending.
There are several reasons why people don’t want to bring up something that’s bothering them to other people. It could be something embarrassing, or maybe you think you’ll be judged for it. Sometimes you just don’t know who you can trust. Or perhaps you think you can deal with it on your own, even though you really know that it’s weighing you down. I think all of us have experienced one of these. I know I have.
But whatever it is you need to talk about, none of those reasons should keep you from letting it out.
If it’s something embarrassing or you think you’ll be judged for it: talk to a family member, good friend, or trusted adult about it. They can help you without the stress of wondering if they’ll think differently of you.
If you don’t know who to trust to talk to: talk to a school counselor. They are trained to help you, and they love doing it. There are also free phone numbers you can call and websites you can go to. A few are listed at the bottom of this blog. The best part is, it’s all completely confidential. Even when you talk to a school counselor. Whatever you say stays just between you and them.
If you think you can handle it on your own: stop for a second and ask yourself, “Can I REALLY do this on my own?” You know (whether you admit aloud it or not) if something is too big for you to handle. If you realize that something is weighing you down, talk about it with someone. They can help you with situations that can’t be solved by one person.
Also, if you see someone you know that is holding something in, try to get them talk about it. You don’t have to be pushy or annoying about it. Some people really do just need a little time before they talk about it. Instead, just assure them that you are there for them when they do want to talk. If it’s something that they can’t talk to you about, encourage them to talk to somebody they can trust. They will thank you in the end.
Not only is my friend learning to lean on other people, but so am I. At first I didn’t think I needed help either. I thought I could just be strong for him on my own. But after awhile all the emotional stress started weighing down on me and I knew I had to talk to somebody. Although I had already talked to my mom and my grandma (my grandma is kind of my personal therapist), I needed to talk to someone outside the situation. So, I went to see a therapist at the college I go to.
I also didn’t want to tell my friend that I needed to talk to people about what was going on, but he could see how it was affecting me. Once I told him that I was going to the counselor, he was actually relieved.
He had already felt the affects of trying to do it alone, and didn’t want me to feel the same thing. He still knows that I am there for him and that I’m trying to be strong for him, but he knows that I’m human too and that I also need to lean on other people so that he can lean on me.
If you look closely, the whole world is full of people leaning on other people- and that’s okay.
Here are some helpful websites to go to if you need to talk to someone: