Sex Ed 2.0: When to have “the talk” with your child
November 24, 2009
Dr. Tim Jordan M. D., shared this blog post with us, SEX ED 2.0: When to have “the talk” with your child
For most parents, the big question is, “When do I have the birds and bees talk with my child?”
And therein lies a large part of the problem. It should never be just a talk, but a series of conversations over many years. And the ‘sex’ talks needs to be about so much more than anatomy.
If young children, i.e. 5-9-year-olds, ask what ‘sex’ is, I’d answer their question with a question: “What do you think it means?” They will tell what they’ve heard and what their own developmentally appropriate private logic is about the subject. Most times you can just affirm that- no need to start paging through anatomy books.
During elementary and middle school, parents should have lots of talks about intimacy as it relates to friends: how to be a good friend, deepen friendships, set boundaries, make good choices and how not to lose yourself in friendships.
Parents of middle school and high-schoolers can talk about being ‘in integrity’ with yourself. That involves knowing yourself and what’s right for you and the difference between making a bad choice and feeling out of integrity versus making a good choice and feeling in integrity.
This involves talking through some of their past experiences with your kids. Did the alarm on their internal justice system ever go off, telling them something wasn’t right? Did they follow their instinct and make a good choice or ignore it and make a bad choice? Why did they ignore it? What were the costs or benefits of their choices? What will they do differently next time? Encouraging kids to take care of themselves and be in integrity with themselves are critical pieces of sex education many parents forget.
Talking about sex also means supporting your kids in being happy, doing things that bring them joy and fulfillment, and parenting in ways that allow them to grow up feeling grounded and confident. If they love themselves and know they deserve the best and to be treated with respect, they will have clear and healthy boundaries. People with a high sense of ‘deservability’ take better care of themselves and make better decisions about sex.
Having a relationship with parents that feels close, safe, respectful, trusting and open allows kids to talk about what’s going on in their friendships and lives and about tough decisions they are facing. The quality of your relationship with them is what dictates how much influence you have in all matters, including sexuality.
So the actual ‘talk’ talk, the anatomy and intercourse talk, is in my mind the least important part of sex education. Key components of sex education that can be covered over the course of many conversations throughout childhood include talking about friendships, intimacy, relationships, boundaries, integrity, internal alarms, making choices based on what’s right for you, self esteem and deservability.
Take the pressure off yourself about having the perfect, one-time talk and instead enjoy the ride.
Dr. Tim Jordan and his wife, Anne Jordan, run personal growth weekend retreats and summer camps (Camp Weloki) for kids in grade school, middle school and high school and his private practice is in Chesterfield. To find out more, call (636) 530-1883 or go to www.weloki.com.
Carrie Silver-Stock talks about Secrets Girls Keep on NBC
November 24, 2009
Carrie Silver-Stock, author and founder of Girls With Dreams.com, sat down with Jennifer Blome to talk about her new book Secrets Girls Keep as well as some of the scary issues teen girls face and how parents can help.
Carrie will be at Main Street Books in St. Charles on Saturday November 28 from 1-3 PM signing copies of her new book.
For more information, visit the Secrets Girls Keep Fan Site or watch the interview here.
Dating Advice Tips from New Moon
November 23, 2009
The movie New Moon just recently came out, on Friday November 20. I’m sure most of you have seen it or read the book already. If you have, then you know that when Edward leaves Bella, it hurts Bella horribly. She becomes depressed and unsocial. She’s obviously upset…..I mean if the guy you loved all of a sudden left you, wouldn’t you be upset?
But what’s a healthy level of upset? What Bella went through was very unhealthy. She pushed people away, when she should have pulled them in to help support her, and help her get over Edward. It takes her almost 1/3 of a year to finally get back her life…and even then, she’s not totally happy. She’s still delusional about Edward.
Now, I;m not saying that if you break up with a guy, you’re not allowed to cry over him. Of course you should. But don’t dwell on it. Think of a break up as an opportunity to go out and meet new guys. It’s unhealthy to act like Bella did, and it didn’t just affect her, either. Her parents, and her friends were affected, and I’m sure they were hurt.
The bottom line is, if a guy you’re crazy about breaks up, don’t go into an unhealthy depression like Bella did. It’s bad and you’ll end up losing a lot of other things as well.
Buy Secrets Girls Keep and Get Lots of FREE Stuff!
November 23, 2009
Secrets Girls Keep: What Girls Hide (& Why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence (HCI) by Carrie Silver-Stock is finally here! Tine is running out to get your FREE Stuff with purchase!
Carrie and her supporters want to thank you for your purchase with some very special FREEBIES! Click here to Purchase and get your FREE Stuff! This offer is only good FOR A SHORT TIME!!
“As media and commercial culture is putting increasing pressure on girls to conform to standards that can be very harmful to themselves and their relationships with others, Secrets Girls Keep gives teen-age girls down-to-earth, practical, heartfelt advice that will empower them to resist the pressure and take care of themselves and others in these hard to grow up times. Parents will thank Carrie Silver-Stock for giving them this book to give to and discuss with their daughters.”
Diane Levin, Ph.D.,
Professor of Education, Wheelock College,
Author of So Sexy So Soon
“The key to happiness is getting real and finding a way to be okay with who we are…our authentic selves. How great would it be to learn how to tap into this honest and open place as a teenager? When girls follow Carrie’s guidelines for shedding their secrets and taking charge of their lives, the world has no choice but to be a better place!”
Deborah Reber,
Teen advocate, speaker, and author
“Secrets Girls Keep is compelling in its honesty, openness, and just plain good sense. Written for teenage girls, who face pressures that are almost impossible to imagine, it models getting beneath the silence and shame that all too often accompany life problems (e.g., loss, sex, abuse, eating problems, mood disorder) and actively engages them in self-exploration and disclosure. A vitally important book.”
Stephen Hinshaw, Ph.D.,
Professor and Chair, Department of Psychology, UC Berkeley;
author of The Triple Bind: Saving our Teenage Girls from Today’s Pressures
Girls With Dreams Joins Confidence Coalition To Build Self Esteem
November 20, 2009
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact:Heidi Roy
Kappa Delta Sorority National Headquarters
Phone: (901) 748-1897, ext. 216
E-Mail: confidencecoalition@kappadelta.org
Melanie Schild
Kappa Delta Sorority National Headquarters
Phone: (901) 748-1897, ext. 217
E-Mail: confidencecoalition@kappadelta.org
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Confidence Coalition Continues to Build Self-Esteem among Women and Girls
Memphis, TN – The Confidence Coalition is pleased to announce several new partners joining the national movement to bring awareness to the issues that affect the self-confidence of women and girls and empower them to become more confident. The most recent confidence builders participating with the coalition include the Ophelia Project, the White House Project, Soroptimist, Operation Beautiful, Girls With Dreams, bizMe.biz, Girls Living Life On Purpose, Inc. and Girls Leadership Institute.
“We are thrilled to welcome such incredible groups to the Confidence Coalition,” said Melanie Schild, Executive Director of Kappa Delta Sorority, the founder of the initiative. “They are all doing such great things to promote confidence in girls and women. By banding together, we are creating a movement that will have a huge impact on our culture.”
The Ophelia Project serves youth and adults who are affected by relational and other non-physical forms of aggression by providing them with a unique combination of tools, strategies and solutions. Recognizing the harmful effects of peer aggression, The Ophelia Project is committed to creating safe social climates in our communities.
The White House Project aims to advance women’s leadership in all communities and sectors—up to the U.S. presidency—by filling the leadership pipeline with a richly diverse, critical mass of women. By providing research, training, events and awareness campaigns, the White House Project gives women the confidence and the skills to run and win, demystifying the political process and inspiring a richly diverse group of women in to the leadership pipeline.
Soroptimist, an international volunteer women’s organization, offers programs that improve the lives of women through three distinct platforms: economic empowerment, elimination of violence, and gender equality.
Operation Beautiful encourages girls and women to post anonymous notes in public places, such as the bathroom, the gym scale, and even the grocery store. The messages, which include variations on “You are beautiful, inside and out!,” encourage others to have a positive self-image and stop degrading Fat Talk. The message behind Operation Beautiful is simple and powerful – you are enough, just the way you are.
GirlsWithDreams.com, is a social networking site powered by teens that provides support, advice, and tips on the issues girls struggle with most. Founder Carrie Silver-Stock wants to create a global movement where girls discover their power, passion, and big dreams.
Another company committed to promoting confidence is bizMe.biz, an online magazine, serving as the young professional woman’s career coach – her guide and mentor as she gains her career savvy, budgets her paycheck, and acquires her lifestyle. The magazine includes real-world advice from experts who share their career knowledge and wisdom, giving the bizgal that competitive confidence in the workplace.
Girls Living Life On Purpose, Inc. (GLLOP) is the premier all-girl, faith-based organization dedicated solely to empowering African American and minority girls ages 12 to 17 through life-purpose coaching, character development, and abstinence education. It serves as a navigational tool to empower girls, who are often overlooked and under-served.
The Girls Leadership Institute awakens girls to the full potential of their authentic selves. They work with girls, their families, and school communities through their national camps, after- school programs and in-school resources. GLI teaches girls assertive self-expression, emotional intelligence, and conflict management skills for success in leadership and life.
These companies join other prestigious confidence builders which include Kappa Delta Sorority, Girl Scouts of the USA, Girl Talk, Girls on the Run, National Charity League, the National Domestic Abuse Hotline, Love Is Respect Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, America’s Junior Miss, Pink Magazine, Women For Hire, WomenWorking.com, Georgia O’Keeffe Museum, GirlsHealth.gov and Best Bones Forever. These organizations are collectively bringing awareness to the issues affecting girls and women by encouraging them to stand up to peer pressure and media stereotypes, say no to risky behavior and abusive relationships, and put an end to relational aggression, such as bullying–on the playground and in the office.
The Confidence Coalition is seeking like-minded organizations and companies to partner on project development, implementation, publicity efforts and funding. If you share the mission to promote confidence in women and girls, the Confidence Coalition encourages you to join the movement. To learn more information on becoming a partner of the Confidence Coalition, visit the official Web site www.confidencecoalition.org.
The Confidence Coalition is possible through the generous support of the Kappa Delta Foundation, the funding arm of Kappa Delta Sorority, and a grant from the Jerome S. and Grace H. Murray Foundation. To learn more about the Confidence Coalition, sign a pledge and download a video to share with others, visit the official Web site at www.confidencecoalition.org.
The Confidence Coalition was imagined by Kappa Delta Sorority. With nearly 210,000 members, Kappa Delta is a proven leader in promoting confidence in women and girls. Through a national partnership with Girl Scouts of the USA, Kappa Deltas work directly with girls through the uniquely ME! self-esteem program that was created by GSUSA and is sponsored by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund. Kappa Deltas also work in local communities with child abuse prevention organizations, and nationally the sorority provides support for Prevent Child Abuse America. Kappa Delta’s values, educational and leadership development programs community-service efforts, and national partnerships are focused on promoting confidence in women and girls.
Teens talk about Depression, Dating Violence, and Secrets
November 19, 2009
Secrets Girls Keep is filled with stories of other girls just like you. Carrie, the author, sat down and talked with some of the girls whose stories appeared in the book. In November, we will feature a special video series covering many topics. Below is a schedule of events. Check back here or the Girls With Dreams TV on Youtube to watch!
Tuesday November 2: Dealing with Grief (part 1)
Friday November 5th: Dealing With Your Self Image & Dealing with Grief (part 2)
Thursday November 12: Dealing with Divorce Part 1 and Part 2
Tuesday November 17: Dealing with Dating: How Far is Too Far?
Thursday November 19: Dealing with Eating Disorders
Monday Noveber 23: Dealing with Depression
Monday November 30: Dealing with Dating Violence
Wanna get the book? You can order it online or find it wherever books are sold! Or, find out more about the book every teen needs to have at the Secrets Girls Keep fan site!
How We Took Tori’s Room from Drab to Fab
November 15, 2009
Saturday at the World’s Largest Slumber Party we announced the winner of our of the room makeover you voted on, Tori!!! Now, you can win a look a like room! Make sure you enter here to win before December 14!
Here’s how we completed the makeover! Here’s a quick video of what Tori’s room liked before. Now, follow along to see how we took it from Drab to Fab!
- First, we emptied out her room and Tori worked on reorganizing, sorting, decluttering, throwing stuff that didn’t matter to her anymore.
- Next we began prepping the room for a fresh coat of paint. This meant taking down the wallpaper border, cleaning the walls, taking off the outlet cover, and taping. We want to thank Steve with SR Stock Properties for helping us with this project! Tori’s friend helped us too! If you have a room that needs to have wallpaper taken down, ask someone at a home improvement store for the right supplies. We used a circular device and spray to help us before we started scraping.
- Next…was the paint. Tori’s parents wanted to keep the walls neutral and have one accent wall (see the green). Thank you Girls With Dreams for the paint!
- We wanted to give Tori’s room an extra boost so we had help from GrimeStoppers with the carpets. A huge thank you to GrimeStoppers who cleaned Tori’s carpets. They look awesome!
- Next, it was time to have Kim, from Artistic Sensations.com step in with her magic touch! We updated Tori’s room with a new bed cover, art work, green shag rug, a chocolate Fat Boy chair, and a wall sticky.
- With the clutter gone, we were able to re-use pieces of Tori’s old collection. We replaced her old light and also moved her furniture back into her room! Beautiful!!!!
- Now, you can win a look a like room! Here’s what your makeover will include: Tori’s bedspread, wall art, rug, FatBoy chair, and wall sticky. You can enter right here until December 14!
Win Your Own Room Makeover!
November 14, 2009
You voted to makeover one of our Girls With Dreams team members room and we announced the winner tonight at the World’s Largest Slumber Party! The winner was Tori! We took her room from drab to fab, thanks to Artistic Sensations.com!
Now, you can win a look a like room makeover, sponsored by Artistic Sensations.com! All you need to do is go here and enter to win!
If you win, we’ll make your room look beautiful!!! For the complete transformation of Tori’s room you can check out our other blog posts and videos coming soon!
Don’t forget to enter here to win your own look alike room! You’ll get a comforter cover, wall art, shag rug, and a fun Fatboy chair!
World’s Largest Slumber Party Starts in 2 Minutes!!!
November 14, 2009
We’re Ready to Rock!!! If you haven’t found the LIVE Slumber Party, you can go to it right here!
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/world-s-largest-slumber-party
Here’s everything you need to make it a great party!
- Follow us on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/girlswithdreams
- Join our Facebook Fan Page for The World’s Largest Slumber Party. Here you can post your own pics and updates! We’re having 3 contests tonight…#1 Craziest Dance Moves #2 Cutest Pajamas #3 Best Food. Make sure you post your pics and recipes on Facebook so our Girls With Dreams Team can vote on a winner!
- We’re giving away tons of cool prizes and a Teen Room Makeover! All you need to do to win is to go to the www.girlswithdreams.com home page between 8-10pm CST and sign up for the free stuff (look on the right hand side in the middle). You will automatically be entered to win!
- To win a makeover for your room, tune in at 9PM Central and find out how to register to win! A big thanks to www.artisticsensations.com for making the room makeover possible
- Don’t forget to collect your NEW pajamas for the Pajama Program, or just donate at the page we created!
- Tonight we’ll be talking to some amazing guests…including Vanessa Van Petten from RadicalTeenagers.com, Jessica from the Pajama Program, Marni Bates teen author, and our Taylor Swift fans….stay tuned!
If you missed the live party, you can watch the whole thing right here!
Win Amazing Prizes at the Slumber Party Tonight!
November 14, 2009
Wanna know how you can win great prizes tonight at the World’s Largest Slumber Party hosted by Girls With Dreams on Saturday November 14th, 8-10PM CST, uniting teens virtually all over the world?
Go to the Girls With Dreams.com home page and look for the sign up box on the right hand side of the middle of the page. Sign up for the FREE stuff between 8-10 PM CST and you will automatically be entered to win one of these great prizes!!! Our Girls With Dreams team will be announcing winners of the prizes during our LIVE broadcast, so be sure to enter between 8-10 PM CST!!!
If you’re not already watching our LIVE broadcast, go here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/world-s-largest-slumber-party
Here are the Great PRIZES!!!!
-3 pack of sweetriot chocolate donated by www.sweetriot.com 
-Cool ear buds donated by www.techspotstore.com (Here’s what they look like)
-Cool animal print picture frame and matching fuzzy mirror donated by www.artisticsensations.com
-Fun pink photo album donated by www.artisticsensations.com
-Itunes gift card donated by the www.girlswithdreams.com team
-Fun nail spa pack donated by the www.girlswithdreams.com team
-A copy of the new book, Secrets Girls Keep: What Girls Hide (& Why) and How to Break the Stress of Silence
-Portable Speaker for any mp3player
-Purple picture frame, candles, and photo calendar donated by www.girlswithdreams.com team
AND….one lucky teen is going to win a new ROOM MAKEOVER!!! At 9PM CST we will be revealing the winner of our Girls With Dreams team room makeover, and one of you out there will be able to win a look alike room!
The Teen Room Makeover donated by www.artisticsensations.com will have a special place to enter to win the Room Makeover, watch for our special announcement at 9PM CST and where you need to go to enter to win!!!
If you haven’t helped donate pajams to the Pajama Program , an organization that provides NEW pajamas and books to kids waiting to be adopted, please help us reach our goal and donate here!
Make sure you join up with Slumber Party Headquarters and other teens on Facebook.
